Thanksgiving 2017

For the first time in my life, this Thanksgiving was spent in the house I grew up in with out either of my parents. My dad passed away 5 years ago and my mom has been in the hospital since the beginning of November.

I believe Thanksgiving is a choice that we make in spite of our present circumstances. Choosing thanks leads our heart and mind towards gratitude and away from the pull of darkness especially in the midst of tragedy. This lesson became concrete in my life a few years ago. It was my second birthday since my dad’s passing and the darkness had a grasp over my soul. If you’ve lost a loved one than you know this darkness. It’s a cloud of grief, memory, and sadness that envelopes you. My mentor, John, for several years has taught on the importance of being thankful. One practice is making a list of specific things you are thankful for in life. So, that October 9th, in my car and tired of that darkness, I decided to make my list (see picture from my journal) of thanks.

Losing my dad has been one the toughest experiences in my life, but there has been much good as well. Practicing gratitude, whether through a list or morning ritual, allows us to gain perspective and break away from the hold that emotions have over the truth. So many times, I allow how I feel in the moment to rule over what I know to be true. While death is hard, I found that in giving thanks there are so many good things in my life. For me, it was the debit of losing my dad but the credits of a closer family, incredible wife, my daughter waiting to be born, etc.

It’s almost impossible that when you make and read your list of thanks to feel your heart and mind being lead to the light. That’s gratitude.

Being thankful is a spark of fire in the darkness that bleeds out the night.

No matter your present circumstances, I hope you choose thankfulness. It will take disciple and fortitude, but in that choice you make – you will find freedom in gratitude and escape from the darkness.

Have you ever had a feeling you could do more? Accomplish more? Congratulations, leaders are supposed to have that feeling. I’ll address the “problem” you face when you actually do have untapped leadership capacity.

I’ll start by saying congratulations again. You have more leadership horsepower to invest in the world! This is a very good problem to have. Many leaders find themselves unable to execute on the demands and expectations already placed on them. If you can do that, you’re way ahead of the game.

If you’re wrestling with the issue of excess leadership capacity, I have four suggestions.

Execute your current responsibilities with excellence. How was your last performance review? Are you consistently receiving the highest possible ratings? If not, you may have work to do before you begin to expand your reach beyond your current role. If you’re not receiving performance reviews, or you want additional perspective, conduct your own 360 survey. I’ve been doing them for about 30 years.

Proactively look for ways to add value beyond your role. If you’re nailing your current assignment, look around. Where in your organization could you lend a hand? Perhaps a cross-functional team, or maybe there’s a special project you could volunteer to help deliver. Or, maybe you could mentor young leaders. The list of options before you is long. Start looking around.

Consider additional education. I know this answer is not for everyone, and some of you have  many years of graduate and post-graduate education. However, for some leaders an MBA or even an MFA makes a lot of sense. (If the idea of an MFA sounds strange, I recommend you read the first four chapters of Dan Pink’s book, A Whole New Mind.) Or, maybe you can prepare yourself for opportunities in an area in which you don’t currently have the educational background required.

Look outside your organization for places to use your extra capacity.This last suggestion may be what you’ve been looking for. Assuming you’re crushing it within your organization, and you still have untapped capacity, look outside. Several times during my career I’ve suggested this with great effect. Perhaps you should serve on a non-profit board, or volunteer for a local charity. I know one leader who led a global ministry with the excess leadership capacity his organization didn’t need!

If you find yourself struggling with the issue of excess leadership capacity at some point in your career, you are asking the right question. Our leadership is really an issue of stewardship. I believe we’re accountable for how we use it.

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Mark Miller, Vice President of Organizational Effectiveness for Chick-fil-A, believes that leadership is not something that’s exclusive; within the grasp of an elite few, but beyond the reach of everyone else.  In the tenth anniversary edition of The Secret, Miller reminds readers of a seemingly contradictory concept: to lead is to serve. With more than 600,000 books in print, Mark has been surprised by the response and delighted to serve leaders through his writing.

The 10^th anniversary edition of The Secret will be released September 2, 2014.

Do you ever feel like this guy?

I found myself in this position about a year ago albeit with a full head of hair.  With a baby on the way (here now!), a growing business that I needed to scale, a family I want to spend more time with, and a recently purchased home, I had to find a way to get more done in 24 hours. 

Using a virtual assistant is something I had been considering, because of Michael Hyatt‘s leadership in this area, so I contacted one of the companies he recommends, eaHelp.com.

My virtual assistant has revolutionized my life and business. I wholeheartedly recommend eaHelp.com. I wish I had started sooner.

Recently, I was interviewed by eaHelp.com for their podcast. You can find a link to the interview below. In this interview, I share about the following:

Why and how I use my virtual assistant.

Finding the courage and honesty to delegate tasks we are weakest in.

Overcoming the fear of delegating time drainers like email. 

The importance of dreaming of what could be if you had help. 

As a leader, husband, and father, I couldn’t afford to plateau. You can’t either.  This is the truth:

[Tweet “Leaders, for your organization to grow, you need help and you need to make others successful.”]

Watch the 14 minute podcast by clicking the image below. I hope you learn from my experience.

I’ve thought and reflected about making decisions, legacy, and the future over the last 10 years in my journey in leadership.  The above quote has greatly affected the trajectory of my life. My question for you is this: are you authoring your own story?

This blog is where I want to share my story, because I want to help others with their own story and to clarify the catalysts and lessons of my own story. Whether it was at home or work, falling in love, or attending @catalystleader, at some point in the last year I’ve come to to the conclusion that being present in the moment requires being intentional about the choices we make every day.

I never really used the word intentional in my vocabulary until about 12 months ago.  It didn’t seem that big of a moment, but looking back it will be one that will define the rest of my life.  We all enter relationships with certain ideas or notions.  I did the same.  Never in the context of being ‘intentional’, but in my heart I wanted this relationship to be a great story, one better than the rest.  This vision and idea of a better story drove me to make choices that were intentional.

Being intentional isn’t easy, but being intentional requires vision in 2 areas:  your heart and your story.

Heart

One of my favorite movie characters is Ballium from Kingdom of Heaven.  Ballium believes that a man isn’t a man if he doesn’t make the world better.  All of his actions and heroics are driven by the belief.  He makes choices to protect and save the kingdom because he believes in his heart that this is his purpose.  Each of us has a purpose and certain gifts.  When you make choices from purpose that strong and clear, you will find yourself living intentionally.

Story

Story is a powerful theme and motivator. Every story has a character that overcomes conflict to achieve and resolve something.  When you know the story you want to tell you make decisions that drive the story – that is living with intention. Every story has twists and turns, but you adapt & make changes to make it to the next scene.  If you’re every feeling stuck or wondering what choice to make, play the next scene of your story out. My mentor (@jcrichie) gave me this piece of wisdom and it has been incredibly helpful in being intentional about my own story.

Intentional leadership isn’t easy and isn’t just a catch phrase.  It’s a tool and compass to start every day with purpose to make better choices.  Choices that allow you and me to be an intentional leader at work and home.

How are you living intentionally?